Life at sega HQ
by CutelittleMouseygirl
Summary: What is life like at the place where all the Sonic characters live and make there games? Well, Shadow has called his own couch, Tikal has an anti-war club and fangirl and fanboy camps surround the place. Rated T for fangirl rape... among other things.
1. Intro

**This is a thing of what I think the Sonic crew does in Sega's headquarters and what it's like to be in an environment where you're invincible and where you actually have to suffer to make a video game.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic or his friends. Sega does… Come to think of it, I don't own Sega either. All concepts expressed in this fic are only those of the creator [aka, CutelittleMouseygirl].**

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Sonic dragged himself into the boys' common room where Shadow was laying on a couch. Shadow was a newer person to the Sega HQ, so mostly he got what he wanted. Today was different.

Sonic: Hey, Shadow, can I sit on that couch with you?

Shadow: No… It's my couch.

Sonic: hey, if it weren't for me wanting another boy hedgehog around here, you wouldn't exist.

Shadow: that's a translation for "I don't want to have to sleep with Amy 'cause she-"

Sonic: SHADOW!!! Tails is in here you know.

Shadow: … Oh.

This ended that conversation, so Sonic simply sat in one of the broken armchairs that Knuckles had dragged in from the dump.

Later, Shadow, who had fallen asleep on "his" couch was muttering something about bazookas… It was kind of creeping Tikal the echidna out. She had to ask him about her program though.

Tikal: Shadow… wake up please.

Shadow: [sat up suddenly] wha! Imawake!

Tikal: do you want to join in a… WAKE UP, DARN IT!!

Shadow: [falls off of the couch] AAGH! Okay okay, I'm up.

Tikal: you're on the floor, that isn't up..

Sonic: It's down!

Shadow: Grr… what? Hey, you're not 'sposed to be here!

Tikal: I'll tell how I got in and what I wanted to tell you later, when you've woken up more.

Shadow: Hmph!


	2. Day 1

**August 26, 2009: Day 1 of Observation.**

**Disclaimer: I don't like broccoli… it smells funny.**

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Sonic walked into the boys' common room to see that Shadow had already claimed the best couch spot. The blue hedgehog barley looked up as he sat in the same old armchair. Unfortunately for Silver, who was already sitting there, Sonic isn't a big fan of looking where he sat.

Silver: OW!

Sonic: What?

Shadow: *groan* you guys woke me up… I was having a really good dream.

Silver: Was it the one about- Mmph!

Sonic: [has covered Silver's mouth] Sorry, Shads.

Silver: did you know that Shadow sometimes- Mmph!

Sonic: Silver, I know you're young and all, but ANYONE WITH KNUCKLES' IQ COULD FIGURE OUT THAT YOU SHOULDN'T JUST TALK ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS!!!!

Silver: Geez…

Sonic had tried being nice to Silver LONG ago, when the small hedgehog was new to Sega HQ. It didn't hurt [except if you were Silver] that Sonic and Amy had had SonAmy pictures to be drawn and tooken for devientArt… It had ended with Sonic waking up in Amy's room. Not one of Sonic's best days.

"Sooooooniiiiic!"

Sonic: What, Amy?

Amy: Tails thinks he's a hedgehog again!

Sonic: Grr… that's the third time this week I've had to try and convince him he's a fox, not a hedgehog.

As you could tell, Sonic's day wasn't going very good… and Shadow's humping the couch in his sleep didn't make things better.

Sonic: Shadow! wake up!

Shadow: [falls off of the couch again] Ow! What? Why did I fall off of the arm?

Sonic: …

Shadow: Oh… sorry.

Sonic: It's okay… I know you can't help it with your mind all messed up like it is.

Mephiles chose this time to walk by talking loudly about how his "brother" Iblis was SO much more ultimate than some crazy hedgehog that humped couches.

Shadow: Grr… CHAOS…

Sonic: NO! You'll destroy half the building, and the fence… and do you know where we are without that fence?

Shadow and Mephiles: …

Sonic: *facepalm* that fence is the only thing separating US from fangirls' turf… and the ones outside this area are Yaoi.

Shadow: *hides under couch*

Mephiles: *turns into his foggy, gooey form* *leaves*

Yaoi fangirls were the fear of all Sega worker boys. It didn't help that Marine the Raccoon was turning into a Yaoi... that was a short term for Yaoi fangirl, and it still struck fear in even Eggman… the bravest that all the other Sega cast knew. People generally got along at the HQ, so that's why this story isn't gonna really have any epic battles in it. Either way, Sonic, Mephiles and Eggman alike all hardly ever fought. Shadow was the most aggressive, probably due to his odd obsession with guns and other weapons. But not even Chaos knows.

Meanwhile, in the girls common room [that is, where all the hallways met into one living area], Amy was talking to Marine, trying to get some fangirl glue.

Fangirl glue was an extremely potent love potion, that induced the overwhelming urge to "have bed fun" with the person he or she was glued to. It was normally used only by Yaoi fangirls, because 1. it was illegal and the police were to scared of the glue to infiltrate the fangirls' camps, and 2. It was great for willingly creating Yaoi and Yuri-born children, who would grow up to be Yaoi fangirls and Yuri fanboys.

Amy: Pleeeeeez? I won't bug you anymore if you just give me one tube?

Marine: No.

Amy: *loses temper* *pulls out hammer* What was that?

Marine: *gulp* Have all you want!

During this, Tikal the Echidna was working on signs, she was against Yaoi and Yuri, so she and her VERY few followers fought against the Yaoi fangirls. The problem with this was that Tikal didn't like fighting, so most of her attacks, unless Shadow was bored, were pathetic.

That night in the dining area, everyone was talking about random things… Silver, Shadow, Sonic and Knuckles were talking about what kind of pillows were comfier, even though none of them had really ever had experience with anything but the hard cheap pillows that Sega provided. Amy, Sally Acorn and Princess Elise were talking about weather Sonic was cuter with or without his shoes on. It was a typical day at Sega HQ.

**That night:**

Sonic: AAAAAGH AMY GET O- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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**So, tell me what you think… tomorrow, we'll go into Sega HQ to see what a workday is like for Sonic and co.**


	3. Day 2

**August 28, 2009: Observation Day 2, Work Day 1**

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Sonic woke up with something in his bed. He knew it could only be one of two people: Amy, because, she did… fangirlish things to him while he slept. Or Tails, because he liked sleeping with his "brother", Sonic.

Sonic: Amy… Is that you?

????: *sneezes* What?

Sonic: Are you Amy or Tails?

????: Amy… SONIKKU!!!!! *glomp*

Sonic: AAAHH! AMY DON'T TRY- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Amy: I knew you'd like it!

Sonic: THAT SPOT'S REALLY TENDER- eeeeeeeee…

Amy: *as she's leaving* Bye, my darling Sonikku!

Sonic: *whimper*

I a different building, the Sega game designers were hard at work…

Sega guy: Hmm… *spins wheel* Shadow… *spins wheel* Eats… *spins wheel* a vat of ice cream.

Another Sega guy: Hey… you're on to something there!

So the day of work for the Sega staff had began… the only problem was, not all of the staff were up on time, and most of these hated getting woken up. Shadow was one of these. Having fallen asleep on his couch, he wasn't exactly thrilled when Tails came in and turned on the Science Channel.

Shadow: you woke me up! I was having a good dream.

Tails: was it the one about Rouge again?

Shadow: *nervous* No…

Tails: whatever… *watches TV*

Shadow, satisfied that Tails wasn't going to bug him anymore, lay down to back to sleep. But just then an announcement came over the intercom in the boys' common room.

Intercom: Shadow the Hedgehog, please report to the Gaming Office… Thank You.

Shadow: &*^*!

Tails: *giggle*

Shadow: Oops…

At the gaming office, Shadow found out how pointless his assignment as, so he finished in 10 minutes. At the dining area that night, Knuckles and Tikal were arguing about weather fighting was productive or not. Knuckles was winning.

**That night:**

Sonic: AAAAGH! SALLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!

Sally: Holding you down for Amy.

Amy: *jumps on Sonic* SONIKKU!!!

Elise: *holding Sonic also* Hey, Amy, after you're done, It's my turn!

Sonic: MERCY MERCY!!

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**Another Chapter finished! R&R please.**


	4. A BBQ

**I won't be doing dates anymore, but if you want me to, I will. That is, if more than one reviewer says so. Also, Sega HQ will be the main "at-home" setting for most of my stories from now on. Just look at my Sonadow story "When We're Alone". That is all.-Mouseygirl**

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It was a lazy summer evening at Sega HQ. In the living area, Sonic was wondering weather to wait until it got dark, and then go put graffiti all over Nintendo HQ's walls, or just stay here. Shadow was snoring loudly on the couch. Silver had fallen asleep in one of the armchairs, his laptop on his lap (duh!). Sonic came up with a (in his mind) great idea, even better that what he'd been thinking about. He needed Silver's help though.

"Hey, Silver, Wake up!" The blue hedgehog tapped his friend on the nose. The younger hedgehog woke right up.

"Huh? Oh, hi, Sonic. What is it this time?" Sonic rolled his eyes. Silver was probably thinking that Amy and her fangirl gang had caught up to him.

"It's not something urgent, if that's what you mean, I was thinking that maybe we could have a barbecue?" Silver did a facepalm.

"Sonic, even if we _had_ a grill, which, I don't think we do, none of us know how to barbecue stuff…"

"That's what cookbooks are for! Right?"

"Let me finish! None of us know how to barbecue, and hardly any of us know how to read! And besides, I thought you were gonna "repaint" Nintendumb's HQ." Silver was one of about five people in Sega HQ who had gone to school before getting put in the videogame business. Hence, the white hedgehog had basic reading skills. Not enough to read a cookbook though. But Sonic, not being one to listen to reason, was already texting out the news.

"Hey, Silver," Sonic came up behind the hedgehog, "Let's go get a grill, okay?" Silver yelped, startled, but he followed his friend out the door.


	5. Or a Party?

**I'm glad that people seem to like this idea. I will take requests for little "adventures" along with making up my own. Also, if wanted, then I can introduce an "OC Building" where you can give me your OCs' names, and they'll appear. To decide weather to do this or not, I'll put a poll on my profile for a week or so. Thank you, that is all. –Mouseygirl**

**Caution: I'm writing this while listening to random songs like "You Spin My Head Right Round" beware!**

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_Summery: Silver and Sonic (well, mostly Sonic) wanted to have a BBQ, but they lacked a grill. Now they are going to get theirs from a Sears near you._

Fact: You need a car to get across the freeway to a Sears near you.

Fact: Hedgehogs shouldn't drive, especially when they are already hyperactive blue hedgehogs that decided it would be a good idea to stop at an espresso stand and order a cappuccino. _And_ Hedgehogs shouldn't drive when they are only 15 and accompanied by only another, 14-year-old hedgehog.

To make things short, Sonic on a caffeine rush was now headed down the road in an old, beat-up van at about 100 miles per hour.

"WHOOOO!!!!!!ILOVECOFFEE!COFFEECOFFEECOFFEE!" Silver turned on the radio and tuned it to the nearest station to calm himself down. Unfortunately Sonic started singing along.

"SHUT UP, SONIC!"

"OHHHH GIRLS JUST WANNAAA HAVE FUNN! WHOO!" Silver sighed and finally just let Sonic do his thing. Soon they were at the store and Sonic had come off of his caffeine rush. They walked down the aisle. Silver realized something.

"Sonic…" Said blue hedgehog rolled his eyes at the younger one.

"What… if this is about how this is such a bad idea, than you can just be quiet now. I know what I'm doing… sort of. Now, call Tails, Cream and Charmy and tell them to get some music going."

"… Okay. Do you even know where in the store the grills are?"

"No." Silver sighed and got out his cell phone. _(Underlined text means a phone conversation)_

Tails answered right away.

Tails: Hi, Silver! How are you, and what are you calling for. Also, where's Sonic?

Silver: Umm… Sonic is… err… was with me. 

Tails: Okay. What do you want? I'm busy- CREAM!

Silver: Umm… okayyyyy? Anyways, Sonic wants me to tell you, Cream and Charmy to get stuff ready for the BBQ. Err… Okay, Sonic. Umm, party. I guess we're going food shopping. Sonic's forgotten about his BBQ idea.

Tails: Okay, Silver. Things'll be ready by the time you get home.

Silver: Thanks, Tails.

Sonic and Silver were off again.


	6. What's Happenin' at Home?

**So far we only have one vote for the OC Building… Considering that I just put the poll on this morning, that's good. The vote says no, OCs would choke the story up. Do you agree?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the idea to this fic. NUMA NUMA YAY!**

**Sorry, I'm listening to the numa numa song… 8 BIT VERSION! WHOOO!**

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_Summery: Sonic and Silver (mostly Sonic) wanted to have a BBQ, so they took a crazy trip to a Sears near you. Sonic then forgot about his BBQ idea and decided that they should have a party for whatever reason. Now we go back to Sega HQ to see what everyone is doing upon hearing the news._

Tails sighed after he got off the phone with Silver. He'd been trying to calm a sugar high Cream, but now she seemed to be on a sugar crash. He pulled a blanket over the sleeping bunny. He then wondered how he'd not woken Shadow on the other couch up.

Shadow was dreaming about… Sega HQ's attic. Where the dreaded Tails Doll was said to live. Fed by whatever his organic counterpart had eaten, the thing stayed alive. Unseen. Unnoted. _(Bold Italics means a dream)_

_**Shadow heard rustling noises at the far end of the attic.**_

_** "W-who's there? Faker? Is that you?" He called out nervously. The black hedgehog heard an eerily calm and soft voice say "can you feel the sunshine? Does it brighten up your day?" Then he saw the three red lights. Two looking like eyes, similar in shade to the ebony one's own, another looking like a cell tower without the blinky part. **_

Shadow woke up with a start to see Tails in his face.

"WHAT THE (bleep) ARE YOU DOING!" The black and red hedgehog exploded into the fox kit's face. Tails giggled.

"You said a bad word!"

"Shut up."

"Sonic'll be mad at you!"

"Shut up." Tails the proceeded to explain to Shadow about the party, and how Sonic and Silver were at Target right now getting supplies.

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Sonic and Silver were debating about what kind of chips to get. Silver liked Fritos, and Sonic liked Ruffles. Silver was using his powers to float bags of Fritos into the cart and Sonic was just as quickly throwing them behind him and putting Ruffles in. It was an epic battle of the chips.


	7. Almost To The Party!

**Umm… I don't have much to say today. I've found that listening to music helps me with my writing. That is all. –Mouseygirl**

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_Summery:_ _Sonic and Silver (mostly Sonic) wanted to have a BBQ. They took a crazy trip to a Sears near you where Sonic forgot about his BBQ idea. Sonic, now wanting to have a party dragged Silver along to Target where the two hedgehogs stated fighting over two different brands of chips._

"Fritos rule! Ruffles drool!" cried Silver, flipping Sonic over the shelf with his powers.

"NO WAY! FRITOS ARE THE GREATEST!" Sonic cried as he flew across the store. Shadow, sent by Tails to help the two, was walking in the door as Sonic landed right in front of him.

"What the…"

"I'll get you back, potleaf!" Sonic cried out at his rival. Later, the three got the supplies needed at Target. Including bandages for the cuts and scratches on Sonic and more ammo for Shadow's guns. The hedgehogs then had to walk back.

Silver's cell phone the started ringing… with an 8 bit version of his theme song.

"*snort* Great ringtone!" Sonic observed. Silver stuck his tongue out at the blue hedgehog as he answered the phone.

Silver: Hello?

Tails: Hey, Silver! Tell Sonic that I've go everything he needs set up! 

Silver: Thanks! I think we're going to the liquor store now… Err… that's grown-up stuff though.

Tails: Silver! I'm almost as old as you are… Also, how are you guys planning to actually buy anything there?

Silver: Shadow.

Tails: He was marked insane twice!

Silver: Umm… *shhhhhhhhhhhhh*… Ails *shhhhhhhhhh* ayk *shhhhhhhh* eye.

Tails: Hello? Oh well.

Tails sighed as he got off the phone with Silver. Shadow was the oldest person in Sega HQ short of Vanilla the rabbit. Shadow was also the second least responsible, rivaled only by Sonic. Shadow was NOT the one to get to buy you things you were too young for. _But then again,_ Tails thought, _Sonic is fun to watch when he's drunk._

Sonic tapped his foot impatiently. Shadow had been inside the store for some time now, and it was making him want to tear his quills out. Silver was listening to his ipod and this to was driving Sonic up the wall.

Shadow was arguing with the store's clerk.

"WHADDYA MEAN I HAVE TO BE OVER 18 TO BUY STUFF!!?!?!?!"

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't sell alcohol to a sixteen-year-old. It's illegal, and immoral." Shadow growled angrily, and finally just took his merchandise _out of the store_ with him. "Umm… Sir! Please put that back… SIR!" The clerk finally gave up. Shadow, Sonic and Silver headed home. The party was about to start.

"What other things can we do for this party?" Cream wondered to Tails and Charmy.

"We could get sugar?" Charmy suggested. Tails was against that.

"We don't want you on a sugar high, okay, Charmy?" The young bumblebee looked sad.

"What about games? Hide 'n' seek is always a good one!" Cream said. Tails was also against that.

"No way, Cream! This is a grown-up party. I think we're looking at a "Duck-duck-goose" situation here." Tails and Cream argued about which game to play until the three hedgehog boys got home, and they heard Sonic scream as Amy, Sally and Elise glomped him.


	8. The Party!

_**My friend Littlewadles is gonna help me write this chapter. I also am taking Nameless's idea for the party chapter. Also, while I write this, it is about 2 AM. *yawn***_

_**Mouseygirl: Littlewadles has some stuff to say…**_

_**Littlewadles: HAI EVERYONE! KNUCKLES ROCKS FOREVER! Down with the yaoi fangirls! Now back to pacing around for ideas of random-ness to write! HOORAY!!!!1!!one**_

_**Mouseygirl: That kinda hurts… I'm one!**_

_**Littlewadles: Heheheheheheh…. Mouseygirl gave me sprite to drink at 2:00 AM…**_

_**Mouseygirl: Wow… the power just flashed on and off…**_

_**Littlewadles: OH NO THE TAILS DOLL CHEWED OUR POWERCORD!!! Oh wait no I just unplugged it on accident… OH HEY AN ACTIVE VOLCANO! BE RIGHT BACK! *Zooms off and leaves the scene to go leap into the lava.***_

_**Mouseygirl: The plot was given to us by a reviewer, edited to fit by me, and typed out by Littlewadles.**_

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Cream snickered as she walked out to the fence. The crowd was scattered all around the party. Knuckles was tottering about on his toes, back and forth over and over trying to maintain his balance, one hand holding a liquor bottle and the other held out to balance himself as he jumped up onto a rock, swaying back and forth. "Look at what I can do, Shonic!" Knuckles called out in his slurred voice before hiccupping and falling backwards off of the rock and bursting into laughter.

Shadow let out a long-drawn out sigh and Sonic pushed his face into his hand, letting out an annoyed groan, "Idiot." Cream's face grew a dark grin and walked up to Knuckles, tapping him with her finger. "Knuckles, can I ask you something?" She asked in her baby-ish voice. Knuckle threw himself up so he was sitting down. "What?" He growled, rubbing one of his glazed eyes.

"The master emerald is stuck inside the fence over there." She said. "The only way you can get it is by punching it out!" Knuckles then hopped up onto his feet. "I'LL GET IT!" He hollered, running towards the fence and slamming his fist right through creating a large gap. Knuckles grinned and walked back to the crowd. "I did it." He boasted, raising his finger half way before collapsing down, passing out from the alcohol overdose.

Silver, who had been trying to impress Blaze finally gave up, leaving to go find somebody else to speak to. When he came across Knuckles passed out he got a wild grin on his face. He tip-toed up to Sonic and Shadow. "Guys, I have an idea." He whispered. Sonic shrugged and Shadow side-stepped to look out Knuckles. "But we'll need a marker; Permanent, more likely." Shadow got a devilish grin and nodded. "I think there's one in the kitchen." He said.

As the trio started walking into the HQ, something began to stir behind the hole that Knuckles had punched in the fence.

A blue fox, Sky Blue, crouched down besides the hole with a grin on her face. Winter, a brown mouse with ice blue eyes and Tina, a timber wolf with yellow eyes followed them. "I say we jump them while they sleep." Winter snickered. "That isn't too bad." Tina said. Sky Blue smiled wildly and let out a quiet fangirl squeak, "Knuckie is mine!" Tina then got a dark gaze.

"No, he's mine!" Tina snarled. Sky Blue narrowed her eyes. "Fine. I get Silvy." She growled, crossing her arms and turning away. "Fine!" Tina spat before turning her back to Sky Blue. "Knuckie is still mine." Sky Blue then murmured, destroying the silence.

"THAT'S IT YOU TWERP!" Screamed Tina, tackling Sky Blue. The two fangirls kicked and tossled about until both were two exhausted to fight. "Whaaatever." Sky Blue grumbled.

IN THE HQ

Sonic entered the kitchen and began digging through the drawers. "Where is that marker…" He growled before finally gripping onto the black sharpie. "Aha!" He cried triumphantly. Suddenly an odd shape emerged out of the shadows. "What the… Amy?" He said.

"No… No!.... NOOOOOOO!"


End file.
